Is the Apple Red?

For as long as I can remember I have been cursed with this inability to focus. I have always been a pestilence to my Dad, lurking over his shoulder doing daily chorus and always asking the infamous question “ why dad? ” To every direction he gave me I would answer in the same manner. Not because I was uninterested in what he was telling me, or that I didn't want to do what he asked. I just wanted, needed to know why. I have always asked the questions that others passed over or seen it as insignificant.

So why do I call it my curse rather then a blessing of inquisitiveness. It's because of my upbringing, being raised Christian is hard enough on it's own but when your whole belief system relies on the basis of you believing blindly or as the church would call it “having faith” it becomes extremely hard. Especially for someone who wants to question everything, and needs an answer that has some meat to it rather then the ever so over used cliche saying have faith. Faith has always been a problem for me. Having faith just didn't seem to satisfy me. I needed that little bit of extra info, the truth. So what is the truth. Is there a God? Is there a heaven and a hell? Why do children starve? Why do people die everyday from crippling and debilitating diseases. How can caner be in this world if God is all powerful. How can a child loose his parents to an accident. How can a mother loose her child after carrying for 8mhts and there still be an all powerful all knowing God who is full of love? How?

My teacher asked me in kindergarten to pick out a block that had the same colour of an apple. I brought her 4 blocks. Is the apple Red? It all depends on how you see the it. Is God actually what I've been taught? Maybe it's time to look for some other blocks.01.05.09